***And you shall know the truth. And the truth will set you free!!!***

Can You RememberLife Before Computers?
An application was for employment,
A program was a TV show...
A cursor used profanity,
And a keyboard was on a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
And a CD was a bank account,
And if you had a corrupted disk,
It would hurt when you found out!
Compress was what you did to garbage,
Not something you did to a file,
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while!
Log on was adding wood to a fire,
A hard drive was a trip on the road,
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived,
And a backup happened to the commode!
Cutting, you did with a pocket knife,
Pasting, you did with glue.
The Web was where a spider lived
And a virus was the flu!

What Happens When You Fall In Love With...
A chef? (You get buttered up.)
A chauffeur? (You get taken for a ride.)
A gambler? (He cheats on you.)
A telephone operator? (He gives you a phone-y line.)
A trashman? (He dumps you.)
A clockmaker? (He two-times you.)
A pastry cook? (He desserts you.)
A shoe salesman? (He walks all over you.)
An elevator operator? (He lets you down.)
An artist? (He gives you the brush.)
A jogger? (He gives you the run-around.)

Twenty-Four Things to Always Remember& One Thing to Never Forget
1. Your presence is a present to the world
2. You're unique and one of a kind
3. Your life can be what you want it to be
4. Take the days just one at a time
5. Count your blessings, not your troubles
6. You'll make it through with whatever comes along
7. Within you are so many answers
8. Understand, have courage, be strong
9. Don't put limits on yourself
10. So many dreams are waiting to be realized
11. Decisions are too important to leave to chance
12. Reach for your peak, your goal, your prize
13. Nothing wastes more energy than worrying
14. The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets
15. Don't take things too seriously
16. Live a life of serenity
17. Not a life of regrets
18. Remember that a little love goes a long way
19. Remember that a lot goes for ever
20. Remember that friendship is a wise investment
21. Life's treasures are people together
22. Realize that it's never too lateDo ordinary things in an extraordinary way
23. Have health, hope and happiness
24. Take the time to wish upon a star
And don't ever forget for even a day how very special you are.

I asked god for a flower? He gave me a garden.
I asked god for a tree? He gave me a forest.
I asked god for a river? He gave me an ocean.
I asked god for an Angel? And he sent you?
I Asked God and He Answered
God Is A Little Like...

You Live, You Die, You Learn Something
If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

What I've Learned As I Matured...

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that no matter how much I care,some people are just jerks.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.After that, you'd better have a big weenie or huge boobs.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others...they are more messed up than you think.
I've learned that you can keep pukinglong after you think you're finished.
I've learned that we are responsiblefor what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the lessimportant ones just never go away.

My History,My Past, My life!!!

Part Passionate Kisser

Part Expert Kisser

Interesting stuff!!!